After talking about getting “inked” I finally went last night and did it. I wrote about this some time ago, but the timing could not have been better. It certainly helped that a few of my closest friends found the same significance in the Hebrew word, “shuwb” and wanted to to do it at the same time.
Yesterday, I stepped down from my position in the so-called “ministry” at our local church community. Over the years, I have served as sound engineer, webmaster, music director, youth pastor and director of our citywide art contest outreach program. Often those roles overlapped, providing many joys, and much stress.
All the while, I have struggled to maintain my graphic design business, juggling priorities on a nearly daily basis. I have made concerted efforts to keep the business small, manageable and part-time, often turning down larger design projects in order to leave time for my church responsibilities. It hasn’t been easy.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been on a journey to re-discover the things that I am most passionate about, and in so doing, have resigned myself to the full realization that while I can do many things, I’m a creative at heart! I love design. I love art. I love communicating concepts and ideas through visual medium. And I love the relationships that I have the opportunity to build through those projects.
I suppose I got into the ministry out of a good intention… I genuinely wanted to serve others. But it is a slippery slope once you begin to “lay down your life for others.” For me, I continued to sacrifice more and more of myself — my God-created self — for the sake of doing everything that others around (and over) me asked, until one day, my loving wife stunned me with these words…
“What if you’re crucifying the wrong guy?”
“What if, instead of being the multi-purpose, “do-everything” guy at the church, you’re supposed to be the creative designer?”
So, after about a year-long process, Kay and I finally stepped down from our responsibilities at the church, with the encouragement of my pastor and mentor, and will now focus our attentions on our family, closest friendships and growing my graphic design business.
What’s this got to do with my tattoo?
The Hebrew word for “repent” is shuwb. It means literally, “Return to who you were created to be.“
So my tattoo, on my right forearm, is an ever-present reminder to be that guy. The one God created me to be.
Click here for the pics of me and my buddies, Bob and Damon getting the tattoo.
2 responses so far ↓
Kay // May 23, 2008 at 11:18 am |
So proud of you and the way that you’ve handled this whole transition. While it’s been an emotional journey, filled with second-guessing, and difficult choices, I really believe that this most definitely another time where God is ordering our steps. I’m looking forward to the adventure we’re embarking on and am excited to see how this filters through even more of our lives as we continue to walk in more and more awareness of who our ‘true selves’ are that God created us to be.
I love you more and more!
Kris // May 29, 2008 at 3:36 pm |
return to the real you. I wish a tattoo culd be my symbol cuz its far less scary to get inked than to move across the continent. Enlightenment has been a fabric threading every movement in my life into a cloak of who I really am. Shakespeare’s Macbeth spoke of dressing in “Borrowed Robes”. AT some point it seems like a clown costume with a painted smile ear to ear and takes as much effort as a fully rehearsed performance.
Casting off the false person dwindles every aspect of material, personal & spiritual. I believe the Divine has placed my road before me which leads to LA. The Divine set this up and made all the preparations. I certainly don’t believe in a God of my upbringing anymore simply cuz its expected of me…but since when have I ever done what was expected of me? I applaud the radical stepping back to return to the Divine essence which is ALL that created you. Thus the marks this journey leaves on us and from us by ink or reminded slaps in the face will be monuments of expected roads we forever turn from…Sir Walter Raleigh, Christopher Columbus…did not do what was expected either.