Apparently, phonophobia is an actual condition, although the actual definition does not accurately describe my feelings about making and receiving phone calls. While I’d hardly call it a fear, I’ve definitely developed a genuine disdain for phone interruptions.
I’m highly project-oriented and self-motivated, typically completing tasks on or ahead of schedule. But, lately I’ve found that I become agitated every time the phone rings while I’m working. Unfortunately, phone calls are a necessary part of running a business today, so I’ve got to figure out some way to deal with this annoyance.
Now, before you write me off as some kind of weirdo, let me tell you this… I’m not alone! In fact, I’m only writing about this because I found that there are plenty of others out there who feel the same way. The other day, the author of one of my favorite pieces of software confessed to his own phone-hate on his personal blog. And then I found this guy, and this one and this one. It appears there is a growing number of other folks who are experiencing phone-ophobia.
Here’s the ironic part… I love being around people!
Really. In fact, I would prefer a lunch meeting to a phone call. I sincerely enjoy face-to-face communication. I just hate talking on the phone.
I suppose it’s because my work is dependent on the internet, but I much prefer email, especially for routine communications (like setting up lunch appointments). Need something done? Email me. Project details? Email them to me. Is there anyone else who dislikes writing down driving directions over the phone? That’s what MapQuest is for. Email me your address and I’ll look up my own driving directions.
A few weeks ago, I played “phone tag” with a client for a full day before we finally hooked up. When I finally got him on the phone, he asked, “Hey, Shawn. What’s the best way for me to send you this new text for my website?” I had to bite my lip. “Umm. You could… email it to me!“
Through the help of my newfound online friends who “suffer” from this malady, I’ve begun to identify just a few of the reasons why I avoid the telephone…
- It’s the only piece of modern technology that will interrupt whatever you’re doing by shouting incessantly at you until you give in to its demand. “Hey! Drop everything else you’re doing! I’m the most important thing going on right now.” Even my 2-year old toddler is better at this.
- On a related note, why do people call, but then refuse to leave a voice message of any kind? Have you ever received an email from someone with no title or message? If it’s important enough for you to interrupt me with a phone call, it should also warrant a voice mail.
- “Can you hear me now?” While cellular networks continue to improve, they’re still a long way from perfect, or even suitable, in some cases. Dropped calls, static, and poor sound? Not a problem with email.
- GTD? Not with constant phone calls! The type of work that I do demands a high level of concentration. Often when I take a phone call, it takes me an additional 20-30 minutes to recall what I was doing before the interruption. This is especially true of creative work, or tedious tasks like programming pages of PHP code.
- Just because it’s called a “mobile” phone doesn’t mean I want to talk anytime, anywhere. If I’m out doing something, that’s obviously what I want to be doing. If I wanted to talk on the telephone, I’d be calling people.
- Just because the phone has been around for 100 years and has enjoyed social dominance for much of that time doesn’t mean that it is still the best tool for communication. For many—not all—communication needs, email is a far superior option, granting you the time to carefully craft a proper response to a situation.
- Two words… phone tag! Have you ever gone back and forth with someone, leaving voice mails for each other all day, only to find out it was all over nothing?
Is it generational?
My friend’s son sent more than 2,000 text messages last month alone! For him, text messaging is the only use for a cell phone, not making phone calls. For his generation, even email is too much of a hassle.
Another friend of ours recently asked his son why he insisted on sitting in front of the computer every day after school. “Why don’t you just go to the mall with your friend?” he asked. His son replied, “Why would I want to do that? If I go to the mall, I’d only be with one friend. This way, I can talk with all my friends at the same time!”
The road to recovery…
I recently purchased an iPhone, which has at least alleviated some of my disdain for cellphones. I absolutely love the visual voicemail feature, and I’ve grown proficient at text messaging. Plus, I can get my EMAIL on it!
Anyway, I’d love to hear from you! Is this just a strange affliction among introverts like myself? Just a side-effect of the internet? Or is the antiquated telephone giving way to better forms of communication?
Post your comments below, or email me. Or let’s go to lunch and talk about it. Just don’t call me. 
12 responses so far ↓
Brenda // October 24, 2007 at 8:31 pm |
Okay
pageless // October 24, 2007 at 9:45 pm |
… Try working in a call center. No, seriously! You’ll never be afraid of phones again – you’ll have unending hate for them, but you wouldn’t be afraid anymore. >:-D
- John
http://www.thepagelessbook.com
Carol Fields // October 26, 2007 at 8:08 am |
When you answer phones all day as one of your job discriptions, you certainly do not want to set with a phone to your ear after you get off. Guess that is why I like my ear-bud for my mobile. Wish I had one for the home phone,too. I rarely get a call on my home phone so am considering just taking all the phone out of the house. Anyone I know or want to talk with has my mobile #. A lot of people are going to that. I find myself text messaging more and more (grandchildren for sure).
So I guess I said all that to say I understand your feelings, Shawn. I would like to have one of those Apple phones.
Carol Fields // October 26, 2007 at 8:11 am |
BTW…I was a telephone operater when they used those phones in the picture you have in your blog. I was one of the last operaters in our little town before they went dial in 1964.
RWT // October 30, 2007 at 9:16 am |
You’ve encouraged me to come out of the closet! Err…I mean phone booth. I hate the phone, too. I’d rather see the person I’m talking to. When it comes to simple communication – send me an email. I’ll call you later and we can talk about it…
Dawna Miller // November 1, 2007 at 2:06 pm |
Yes , yes and yes! I completely agree. My greatest annoyance is the sound of the phone ringing. I actually get upset that someone is calling (what’s wrong w/me?) And I don’t know how Steven does it – his phone drives me crazy. He tells me he longs to throw it out the window on his drive home. With a cell others think you SHOULD answer no matter what and become angry when you don’t. Leave a message and maybe we’ll call you back – and MAYBE we WON’T.
Gordon // November 5, 2007 at 4:46 pm |
When I bought my last phone, I opted for the cheapo basic phone w/o a camera, color movie screen, etc. I told the salesperson that I only use my phone for – guess what – a PHONE! I said I do my email on my computer and I use my camera to take pictures. A teenage girl rolled her eyes at me! Whatever.
I’m with you, Shawn. Send me an email unless it’s an emergency. I only bought a cellphone so I can check on my wife, and she can contact me if something happened to her – like when she fell on the kitchen floor the last time.
So, yeah! I hate it when my cellphone rings at work, or while I’m driving home, or when I’m watching a movie in the evening with my wife!
Call me ‘Old School’ but don’t call my cell phone!
Penny-Lane // December 17, 2007 at 7:29 am |
hey, i would just like to say, i am totally understanding where you are coming from, i mean, i have no problem talking to close friends/relatives on the phone. I’ve had really good conversations and i’ve recently gotten a swanky new mobile. However, my deep dark problem is talking with guys i like, strangers, or people who i haven’t yet established a good social relationship with yet. I find email, msn or texting much more preferable. I guess my main concern is that awkward 3 minutes of silence. Don’t get me wrong, i’m a people’s person, i love talking and getting to know new people but whenever i talk on the phone with someone who i’m not so familiar with, i get all nervous thinking the person is getting bored with me which inevitably ends up in a weird silence. It’s kind of ironic because with other people, especially my best friend, i can have a 2 hour long conversation with him and not feel bored or nervous. I don’t know what’s my problem but the awkward silence has happened before not just on the phone but in real life as well, especially when i’m alone with another individual. It tears me up inside because from my view, it seems as though im boring, which im not.
helen // March 10, 2008 at 5:41 am |
Oh, dear god, thank you! I thought I was the only one out there! My friend thinks i’m crazy and maybe i am a bit, but I have a fear of phone calls too and I get the exact same symptoms! Thank you so much!
namayani // June 22, 2008 at 7:26 pm |
my fear of phones is causing me more and more trouble. I’m going to college next year and i should be making some phonecalls to sort out some things, ask few questions etc, but I keep postponing those phonecalls, sometimes missing deadlines. If I ahve to make an important phonecall, I’ll have to prepare for it for maybe even days and all the time i’ll be really anxious.
I never call to order pizza, I do everything by e-mail. I only call my close friends, on their mobile phones cause then I know they’ll answer. Also, when the phone is ringing, i pretend i’m doing something very important so I don’t have to answer it. But I also love talking to people, don’t have problems even approaching strangers to talk to them….
I really didn’t know other people also face those problems. I always thought I am being silly, but it’s a huge problem form me, and I can’t see it disappearing. I’m really afraid how this’ll affect my life in the future. Already now it is, as I’m making up excuses for the college people…. I didn’t call because of this or that.. I can’t tel them I’m afraid of calling…. and the more important a phone call is, more anxious I am.. so I don’t think working in a call center would help that much… and I can’t force myself to practice…. did anyone get through this?
Anna // January 6, 2009 at 7:44 pm |
I know I’m a bit late here, but I had to add my agreement. I can manage talking on the phone with my parents and my best friend but that’s it. Otherwise I am terrified of making phone calls and hearing my phone ring always makes me anxious.
The worst part is that I have to answer phones in an office – I’m tense for my whole shift and literally jump every time the phone rings, and I can’t concentrate on any other work I’m doing because I’m worrying about the phone ringing. I didn’t even want to take this job, but I was hoping I’d get over my fear meanwhile. I still haven’t.
I’d say I was an introvert, but I talk a whole lot over the internet and do fine talking face to face, and I think I feel more secure in groups than with individuals, for similar reasons to Penny-Lane (8)’s comment about awkward silences. But I am glad to see that I’m not the only one.
New Yorker // March 25, 2009 at 9:19 pm |
I can identify with the aversion to the phone. I have 2 close family members who used to call me every day and want to chit chat forever. Now they are down to once or twice a week but the conversations easily go on for half an hour to an hour or more. Every time I talk to them, I look at the time spent and think ‘what a waste of time, I could have been doing something more constructive’. I have spent most of my day today feeling anxious about the phone ringing and surfing the internet for sites like this to see if I am normal, and its re-assuring to find that I am. I am now going to let all calls go to voicemail and only reply to people by e-mail unless its someone who rarely calls or is an emergency.